(Q) OK, what does everything you said about fathers and sons, what you see as the collective male pain body, gay male relationships in general and all of that have to do with enlightened relationships?
(A) Roughly half of the Human Beings on the planet are male. Most are in some sort of romantic relationship of one form or another. If what I say about most men is true for only 10% of the men on the planet, millions of men are bringing that pain into their romantic relationships in some form or another, either in their romantic relationships with women, other men or both. Of course, there are more than just two genders on the planet. That however, is a whole different conversation. At any rate, that is the connection and the answer to your question.
(Q) OK, in terms of romantic relationships, is it easier for one type of couple to reach an enlightened state? In other words, for example, is it easier for heterosexual couples to attain enlightened relationship status than say, a lesbian couple?
(A) Interesting question. What do you think?
(Q) I think it would be easier for straight couples to attain enlightened status because in most places around the world heterosexual couples live in cultures where their relationships are more supported and accepted.
(A) So you believe socio-cultural support and acceptance is the determining factor in a couple being able to reach enlightened status.
(Q) For some reason I’m suddenly feeling less comfortable with the whole use of the word enlightened. But yes, I would say that.
(A) What if the woman in that heterosexual couple is dealing with all kinds of “collective female pain body” stuff and the man is dealing with all kinds of “my father never loved me” stuff?
(Q) Yes, well two women would be dealing with twice that female pain stuff and two men would be dealing with twice that father stuff. Plus they’d both most likely be living in societies and cultures where more pain was heaped on them through the lack of acceptance and validation of their gay and lesbian relationships.
(Raven) Do you have a partner?
(Questioner) Yes.
(Raven) Is your partner male, female or identifies as something else?
(Questioner) My partner is a man.
(Raven) Do you consider yourself gay?
(Questioner) Yes.
(Raven) Does your partner consider himself gay?
(Questioner) He was married to a woman for 15 years. I am his first male partner. He probably considers himself bisexual. But I don’t know that for sure.
(Raven) OK. I am not going to answer your specific question because no matter how I answer it, I would be creating in essence, a new victim class and I am not going to do that. So this is what I will say to you: Focus on making your specific relationship with your partner as fantastic as it can be and be a beacon unto the world of the possibilities that can exist between two Human Beings who are partnered in love. Leave the rest to what I truly hope is a shrinking group of people who are incessantly concerned with whose better off, worse off, whose climbing up or falling off the ladder in the worldwide game of human groups shuffleboard.
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