Lovable

"When we come into contact with the other
person, our thoughts and actions should express our mind of compassion, even if that person says and does things that are not easy to accept. We practice in this way until we see clearly that our love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable."

Thich Nhat Hanh

I have been contemplating that Thich Nhat Hanh quote for several weeks now.

I am out and about quite a bit. I also notice people. I sometimes observe people. Sometimes when I observe people I see certain expressions on their faces. I observe other non-verbal communication. I sometimes overhear parts of their conversations. At times I am able to get rather deep glimpses into these people's lives simply from these observations.

There are many people in the world who give in to anger on a regular basis and in public. There are many people in the world who flirt, rather often, with sadness. There are many people who seem to be quite lonely. There are many people who imagine there is much to fear and to be afraid of. There are also many violent people. When I think of some of these people and I think of Thich Nhat Hanh's words, I sometimes ask myself, "are all of these people lovable?"

I know I am lovable. This however, has not always been so. I use to sometimes try to pinpoint, in my minds eye, the exact moment that transformation occurred; my movement from not knowing I am lovable to the moment I knew for sure that I was. I can't pinpoint the moment, of course. I know it hasn't been so long ago.

Do you believe you are lovable? Do you know it for sure?

Is there anyone alive who is not lovable? How would we know? How could we judge or measure that without error? There are of course, the usual suspects for the not possibly lovable rogue's gallery--rapists, child molesters, serial killers, sociopaths of all other stripes.

The biological mother (until she died), the biological father and the step mother of Jeffrey Dahmer have all publicly professed their deep and sincere love for him both before and after his own tragic murder in prison.

Some of us are only or primarily interested in the physical manifestations of the human being. But even here there can be no real consensus. I know people who are physically beautiful; gorgeous even, and for one reason or another, they have been unable to find romance much less romantic love. And I also know those with no or chipped or severely crooked teeth, body odor, limited formal education, high levels of fear and recurring episodes of insecurity who have those in their lives who genuinely love them.

I have seen t-shirts emblazoned with the words, "Jesus loves you." The wearers of such shirts could never anticipate who would come face-to-face with those shirts and take that slogan as a very personal message directed specifically at them.

There are many people who create either on paper or on computer hard drive or just in their heads a lengthy litany of character traits a potential and future mate or spouse must possess. What are these people thinking? Well, one thing they aren't thinking is that everybody is lovable. They wouldn't be caught wearing a t-shirt that says, "Jesus loves you" I don't suppose, unless it had the caveat, "but I don't necessarily." For them lovableness is clearly a competitive sport, and most are on the losing team.

I believe in angels. Not necessarily the nice, fluffy variety with wings. I believe there are all kinds of angels. And because of my knowledge of statistics I also believe a good percentage of angels have one or more traits that would cause many to view them as not being lovable. I think that would be a very cleaver aspect of the community of angels, for the calling of angelhood. If all or most angels came across in such a way as to draw the approval of most, well, that just wouldn't make the whole angel thing a very interesting concept at all now would it? I like to think of most angels as coming in forms or having traits that would repel and disgust most people. Well, except for people like Thich Nhat Hanh whose figured out something I suspect most of us haven't.

sage mahosadha
© Raven/Sage Mahosadha

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