Transitions

I am undergoing what feels like a strong yet subtle and natural internal transformation as I prepare to relocate back to Oakland, California and jump headlong into the reality that is the simmering, yet perhaps equally delicious cauldron that is the Occupy Oakland Movement.

I am in a constant and longstanding process of learning to be comfortable with challenging emotions such as  anger, rage, confusion, fear and despair and creating, with the help of a few conscious friends, new templates for being with each of these emotions in ways that makes surrendering to them easier, less guilt ridden and more authentic yet not without continual close re-examination.

I am becoming more peaceful though not less complex and fire based and passionate.

Surrender is deepening and becoming more focused and intelligent.

I have learned that I have to bring a certain type of intelligence to my surrender or it runs the serious risk of being co-opted by emotional excess and recklessness. I have learned that it has to be focused or it begins to lack a certain nascent creativity.

Shadow and Light continue their intimate and lustful dance in my life. That will surely intensify once I return to the urban landscape of Oakland that is brimming with both social and economic starkness that refuses to be ignored and that will rear up and slap you in the face hard, if you attempt to.

I pray the grace that visited me several years ago and which opened me up to a wellspring of internal and external compassion, curiosity and the ability to be fiercely present, will return to me once again in the coming weeks with beauty and calm.

I am thankful to all my teachers, guides, benefactors, students and numerous co-travelers on the path of persistent and constant change...