Some Ways To Make the World a Better Place.

Be absolutely open to falling in love with someone you otherwise would not ever, ever consider allowing yourself to fall in love with, and then do just that, fall in love with such a person.

If you are the type who believes one cannot force something like falling in love, that's OK. In such a case, simply allow yourself to be in an intimate, romantic and sexual relationship with the person. Tell yourself you are engaging in a self improvement experiment.

If you are an avid vegetarian, fall in love with someone who is an equally extreme carnivore.

If you are a diehard progressive, fall in love with a diehard conservative.

If you believe the sky is blue, fall in love with someone who believes the sky is green.

If you adore Rachel Maddow, fall in love with someone who believes Glenn Beck hung the moon.

If you are a philosopher, fall in love with a pragmatist.

If you are an atheist, fall in love with a Southern Baptist minister.

If you are a late night person, fall in love with an early bird.

And if you find that such  an endeavor brings out a certain righteous indignation in you or a growing need to be "right" all the time or a certain heaviness or shrillness or even a heretofore unacknowledged or hidden abusive nature, go to a therapist or a counselor and get some additional support, now.

And while you are engaging in that, make a habit of getting up an hour or so before your partner and watch her/him gently sleeping for that hour or so, every day for several weeks, in silence.

Also engage in potentially contentious conversations with your partner and make a commitment not to counter anything he/she may say. Instead, listen deeply, smile and look directly into her/his eyes and listen some more.

Also, go do some volunteer work. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or a shelter for abused women, or at the SPCA or a program for neglected or abused children or at a nearby prison. Then come home and listen to your partner and look at him or her when he/she is talking and go for a walk at dusk or a bike ride, in silence.

Adopt a kitten or a puppy if you're able. Play with the puppy or kitten with your partner.

Read to your partner before the two of you go to bed or have him/her read to you. If your partner falls asleep first, watch him/her during the first 10-15 minutes of sleep time, again, in silence.

Smile silently and sincerely when friends and family and coworkers tell you that you have made a monstrous mistake by choosing a partner so incredibly different from you.

Do not watch those bachelor/bachelorette programs. Watch The Ellen Degeneres Show instead. And watch your partner sleeping some more.

sage mahosadha 07.07.10

© Raven/Sage Mahosadha

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