Loving Kindness

Loving Kindness

Monday, April 11, 2011

Sage Teachings on Love: Tough Love Unmasked


I have said it before and I will say it again--there really is no such thing as or a need for an independent derivative form of love called "tough love." The already existing concept of love when understood in its fullness is by itself spacious and large enough to encompass any and everything that is appropriate in any given and sincere love-based situation, relationship or circumstance.

The original concept of tough love as conceived by Bill Milliken in his 1968 book entitled Tough Love, may have been constructive and with some merit. Over the years however, the phrase seems to have largely been co-opted by people who view mean-spiritedness, immaturity, judgment, self righteousness, drama or emotional, mental, psychological and sometimes even physical abuse as actions that can and do often pass as "tough love."

I believe tough love is a concept that has essentially outlived its usefulness and now does more harm than good.

In an upcoming post I will explore the phrase "idiot compassion," given to the world by master Buddhist teacher Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche.




No comments: