I have noticed, mostly through my engagement on facebook, that there are a whole lot of people who get anywhere from mildly to greatly aggravated when they encounter someone else saying or writing something they perceive to be self-congratulatory, "ego" based, arrogant or in violation of some completely made up projection-based law of humility. I have noticed many such people seem to have a reflexive, almost knee jerk need to take such people down a peg or two. Often it seems these people are in the service of some seemingly sanctimonious, self righteous holy call to systematically conflate self confidence with the wildly more horrific (in their eyes) sin of egotism.
I have also witnessed people's resistance to referring to themselves as a spiritual teacher. There is also the seeming need to temper any self-acknowledgments with at least twice as many self deprecatory statements. There seems to be to be in many, some fear of being seen as taking oneself too seriously or some such thing. And there is this trend I have noticed to consistently emphasize the awareness that "everyone" is enlightened or that "everyone" is a teacher or that "everyone" is their own most important guru, and as a result somehow believing that acknowledging ones own gifts in these same areas is out of alignment with the universal awareness of these same things.
I don't mind admitting, this all seems rather silly to me. I don't really see anything admirable in it or humble or gracious or egoless. But do read the last paragraph in this piece. To the contrary, I see it as more likely being very egoic. All of that stuff about "everyone" is true of course. Still, I believe something else more fundamental is going on here. I believe one thing that is occurring here is that people are engaging in the practice of disowning their own divinity on some level, usually subconsciously. Something or someone, I imagine, has successfully guilted and shamed such people, somewhere along the line, into believing they are not completely worthy of the awarenesses they have achieved in this life even if they are recognized and highly respected spiritual teachers. With the disowning of one's own divinity of course, comes the requisite difficulty of comfortably witnessing or "holding the space" of someone else expressing their own divinity about themselves in any way whatsoever. It doesn't matter if the person who seems to be expressing their own divinity is a truly evolved soul or someone who is truly full of him/herself. This is a case where it is not about the other person at all. It is totally about us. If you don't believe me, test it out the next time you get an opportunity and see what you discover.
I also believe something else is often going on when we feel the need to make regular self-deprecatory remarks while constantly making references to "everyone's" enlightenment and while also diminishing or downplaying the seed of enlightenment within ourselves. There seems to be a type of embarrassment happening that is ironically, I believe, from within the same energy frequency of the ego expressed as the need to criticize someone else's comfort with their own gifts and achievements. We are embarrassed for ourselves and we are embarrassed for others for their naiveté in not knowing or knowing and not obeying the completely made up rules of how a good awakened or awakening person "should" act. So we choose to play the role of the humble student of life and "act" in another dramatic production instead.
The problem with embarrassment is, as I have suggested, embarrassment is not typically an emotion that frequently accompanies a conscious state of awareness. Embarrassment is a product of that part of the ego, that part of us, that judges. This means it is a product of that part of the ego that ultimately is invested in separation and hierarchy. This or that action is embarrassing. This or that one is not. There is the hierarchy. There is the judgment. Embarrassment does not typically come from that part of the ego that is particularly beneficial to us.
Ultimately all of this criticizing of others, judging of others, disowning of our own divinity, embarrassment and drama is all about being engaged in the lifelong and graceful and beautiful process of getting to know ourselves better and very deeply (or not). Despite the occasional melodrama, this is a very worthwhile process. The things I've discussed here are the "shadow" expression of something that also has a very intensified "light" aspect as well. Once we get to a certain point of self-knowing, all of the melodrama tends to fall away like the brilliant leaves on a maple tree in autumn. What we have left, however, is something far less ephemeral and far more eternal than falling leaves.
I also believe something else is often going on when we feel the need to make regular self-deprecatory remarks while constantly making references to "everyone's" enlightenment and while also diminishing or downplaying the seed of enlightenment within ourselves. There seems to be a type of embarrassment happening that is ironically, I believe, from within the same energy frequency of the ego expressed as the need to criticize someone else's comfort with their own gifts and achievements. We are embarrassed for ourselves and we are embarrassed for others for their naiveté in not knowing or knowing and not obeying the completely made up rules of how a good awakened or awakening person "should" act. So we choose to play the role of the humble student of life and "act" in another dramatic production instead.
The problem with embarrassment is, as I have suggested, embarrassment is not typically an emotion that frequently accompanies a conscious state of awareness. Embarrassment is a product of that part of the ego, that part of us, that judges. This means it is a product of that part of the ego that ultimately is invested in separation and hierarchy. This or that action is embarrassing. This or that one is not. There is the hierarchy. There is the judgment. Embarrassment does not typically come from that part of the ego that is particularly beneficial to us.
Ultimately all of this criticizing of others, judging of others, disowning of our own divinity, embarrassment and drama is all about being engaged in the lifelong and graceful and beautiful process of getting to know ourselves better and very deeply (or not). Despite the occasional melodrama, this is a very worthwhile process. The things I've discussed here are the "shadow" expression of something that also has a very intensified "light" aspect as well. Once we get to a certain point of self-knowing, all of the melodrama tends to fall away like the brilliant leaves on a maple tree in autumn. What we have left, however, is something far less ephemeral and far more eternal than falling leaves.
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