Loving Kindness

Loving Kindness

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Long Road Home Leads to Forgiveness and Reconciliation


I am 100% against capital punishment. I have been for a very long time. I want to share here some of my story around this fundamental point of activism in my life.

I am a man of African descent. I grew up in an environment that included certain advantages that were not always afforded the typical black family of that time and age. I was born in 1960. My maternal grandfather had been a university professor from my first awareness of him as a distinct, individual person. He and my grandmother had met while they were both students at Fisk University, one of the most prestigious of the historically black colleges and universities in America. I grew up in a house with my maternal grandparents, my mother, who also had a college education, and my sister who was 22 months my senior. It was a good upbringing and environment. It was not perfect. It was not idyllic. I was never aware of any financial struggles. Although I imagine there were some.  We ate extremely well, even by today's standards. We took vacations every summer. Still, I believed my family was somewhat crazy until I entered college and met other students and heard the stories of their upbringings and their families. From that point forward I have viewed my family as more or less perfect.

For much of that time growing up, dinnertime at our house was a time where we all came together and talked openly, as a family, about all manner of things. It was my introduction to Socratic discourse. It prepared me for college in ways that far surpassed the preparation many of my peers had received. During one of those dinners when I was probably around ten, my grandfather brought up the subject of capital punishment. He introduced the subject by simultaneously expressing his support for it. Everyone else at the table, in one form or another, agreed with my grandfather. This topic was obviously done with and we were about to move on to the next when I proudly announced that I was not in favor of capital punishment. What I want to interject here is the fact that my grandfather remains, to this day, 22 years after his passing, the most positively influential person in my entire life and the person I view as the most important person in my life, hands down. So at age ten for me to challenge the person I most looked up to in the world, was a huge thing. It was not that my grandfather was some tyrant of a man who ruled his family with an iron fist and expected everyone in the family to bow to his will. Not at all. It was simply that my grandfather was such a brilliant man who, in my eyes, was the only person who made our family and to a lesser degree, the world, work for me. So this was huge.

I remember my grandfather looking at me with surprise. He then asked me what to this day I know was what he considered to be the ultimate rebuttal to my statement about not supporting capital punishment. I remember it as if it happened yesterday. My grandfather asked me, "What if someone came into this house right now, while we all are sitting here enjoying our dinner and shot and killed one or all of your family for no reason at all? Wouldn't you want to see that person die?" "No," I said, I wouldn't." That wouldn't bring any of you back to life." Everyone was stunned by my response and their faces reflected it. There was a silence that descended on the room due to everyone suddenly realizing there was a person sitting among them whom they had never seen before and had no idea where he had come from. I went on to eloquently state several more reasons why I didn't support capital punishment. The principles of forgiveness and reconciliation being among them. I had no idea where these thoughts were coming from. I had never expressed them before. I have never wavered in all these years.

At age sixteen I officially became a conscientious objector and a vegetarian (for the first time). At age eighteen (1978) I attended my first peace march. At age 36 I started facilitating a support group for people who had a loved one who was a victim of violent homicide. At age 42 I attended my first meditation sit in opposition to the execution that was about to take place inside the prison building I sat zazen outside of (San Quentin State Prison in Marin County in The San Francisco Bay Area). I have been to many others since. At age 51 I have been impacted by the execution of an American citizen of African descent named Troy Anthony Davis in ways that very much surprises me given the fact I have been doing this for so long. I have been revitalized in my efforts to abolish the death penalty in this country as a result of the Troy Anthony Davis case. My 10 year old self would be very proud of me.

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