Loving Kindness

Loving Kindness

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Celebrating Those Who Have What We Don't

There are a lot of seeming dichotomies in what we might call the spiritual life. In reality the term "the spiritual life" is just a more specific description of life itself. The spiritual part is completely superfluous.

Now back to some of those apparent dichotomies--for example, we tend to receive most fully when we most selflessly give to others. We tend to open ourselves up to the most amazing forms and expressions of freedom when we most fully surrender to "what is." We tend to draw the most complete types of love to us when we are able to be vulnerable and love more fearlessly ourselves and without concern for it being returned to us. And we tend to experience the most abundance when we celebrate the abundance of others.

I have spent a lot of the last year or so re-framing this thing that many are calling the global economic recession. I do not deny that something is happening. I have no objection to it being called a recession. I acknowledge that people’s lives are being impacted in ways that conventional wisdom might choose to call “negative” or “bad.” I am no Pollyanna. I cannot however, deny my pedigree, even if I wanted to. The fact remains, I am a child of the so-called New Age era. I believe the greatest gift this era has given to us is easy access to alternate ways of experiencing and understanding life. It, unfortunately has also given rise to many charlatans, con-artists and many false teachings. So one has to do a little legwork to find the authentic teachings that have come out of the New Age phenomenon.

I am not an adherent of those aspects of the New Age movement that would have us deny our emotional pain and instruct us to essentially get over it because it isn’t real. I understand that pain is real in the way I choose to define the word real. I also understand that pain does not have to be permanent. It is transitional. It is a teacher. And we have a lot of control over how much pain we experience and for how long. We can decide if we want to transform pain into the more oppressive thing called suffering.

Many people are losing or have lost their homes right now. Many people have lost or will soon lose their jobs. I am in that category. I was laid off more than a year ago. Many people have gone through their savings. I am in that category as well. So I am not some blissful person looking in from the far distant sidelines of security and economic prosperity. I am on the front lines of economic challenge and uncertainty.

Even though we are in a deep "recession," the everyday traumas and losses that occur during non-recessionary times don’t take a vacation. So while dealing with economic related challenges, many people have also simultaneously seen their primary relationships end either directly or not at all related to economic reasons. Some people who have retained their jobs still have to contend with micro- managing bosses and/or highly dysfunctional work places. Many have to contend with increased workloads and pay cuts as a result of lay-offs and the economy . Friends, family members and romantic partners continue to die, get murdered, get mugged and assaulted and everything else as well.

Scream if you want to. It might truly help. But then the reality will remain after the screaming. Earlier, I wrote an essay in which I discussed how understanding and applying the Buddhist concept of impermanence may help us deal with all aspects of the global recession. Here I am going to present another tool: Celebrating those who have what we don’t.

I spend a lot of time on public transportation. I also spend a lot of time walking the streets of two major California cities—San Francisco and Oakland. When I engage in both these activities, it is very apparent that many people are on edge. I can feel the angst, the smoldering anger, the anxiety, the depression of many I casually come in contact with in these arenas. I am able to sense their pain. I am also able to sense the same states in some of the people I know well and who I am close to as our paths cross either frequently or infrequently.

Misery Loves Company 

I have found that the above adage is far truer than I would like for it to be. At one point it played a very powerful role in my own life. No more. Still, it seems like every day I witness or become aware of at least a half a dozen examples of how powerfully true this axiom is in the lives of so many people.

Once I lost my job I became aware of a number of support groups for people who had recently been laid off. There were numerous reasons why I decided such a group was not for me. The main reason was that I was (and remain) in a state of joy around this unexpected blessing in my life and found it difficult to imagine how any support group could improve on that fact. Another of those reasons is that, as a trained therapist myself, and one who has lead or co-lead many support groups, I was very aware that such groups, even those with a highly skilled and aware group leader, often become little more than collective gripe sessions. It is very easy to fall into that type of consciousness whether one is in a support group or not.

So very specifically, if you have lost your job, celebrate those in your life who have not. If you have lost your home, bless those in your life who have consistent, reliable and safe housing. If an important love relationship has failed, send your blessings and support to those who have found love or who remain with the love of their lives.

And there's more. If your former love has found a new love, celebrate that as well. If you are depressed, silently sing along with the ever bright and cheerful ones you know. If you are anxious, take some solace in the knowledge that many people are not and praise God/Goddess/Universe for it. If you have experienced any other kind of loss of late, smile in recognition that others around you are in a state of bliss, a bliss that you too may once or once again know. And if you do not have peace of mind right now, be thankful for those in the world who do. For I tell you, and not just from a place of intellect or wishful thinking—from a place of experience and knowing as well, this is The Way. It is the only sane Way.

© Raven/Sage Mahosadha

No comments: