Enlightened Romantic Relationships (Part 8)

(Question) In one of your posts on enlightened relationships you said you didn’t want to create a new “victim” class. I don’t remember which one it was. But with all this stuff you are saying about men and what men have suffered and are suffering and everything you say men have endured; aren’t you doing exactly that?

(Sage) No, I am not. If someone witnesses a crime and eventually writes an essay about what they witnessed, has that person perpetrated the actual crime? Of course not. It is the same here. Many people may not have known about the particular crime detailed in the essay until this person wrote about it. Similarly, if I am pointing out a truth that the majority of people on the planet, for whatever reason or reasons, have not known or accepted before as truth or what is real, I have not created that reality. I am simply reporting it and shining the light of consciousness on it. Gandhi did not create the second-class citizen status of Native Indians in 19th and early 20th century India under British rule. He however, is certainly recognized universally, as catapulting it to global recognition status. I am not comparing myself to Gandhi. I think however, you will see my point.

Secondly, and of much more importance and significance is this: It is my awareness that a large number of men are in rather constant yet varying and wavering states of grief, mild depression, unexplained states of confusion, degrees of unexplained and perhaps not well understood emotional or mental pain as well as a particular and odd state of malaise. Additionally, just under the surface is anger or aggression as well. I believe the things I speak of are, to a significant degree, the root cause of a lot of that. So while certain hip, internet savvy, perhaps Ivy league educated, social constructionist theorists among us may prefer to view my particular brand of men's work as creating a new and not only new but also a false victim class comprised of men; I know that is not the case. I am coming from a place of healing. I view this work as healing work. I view my work as shining a light on something that needs the light of healing on it to make it sacred again. It is noble work. And yes, it may be misunderstood. Most noble work is at some point or another. And that’s OK. I can deal with that.

I very much appreciate your question. You are probably not the only one who has that question. Also remember however, that the context right now, in which all this is being discussed, is the context of enlightened romantic relationships. So in this particular discourse, I am discussing all of this in the context of helping men and others as well, including women, understand some things about men that may enable us to have better, more healthy relationships with the other Human Beings we may find ourselves in love relationships with.

(Q) OK, but isn’t this healing work you are doing and that is aimed at, I suppose liberating men, by its very nature, downplaying or even dismissing the very real and continuing oppression of and against women?

(Sage) No, it is not. It does sound like you however, may be at least somewhat invested in making sure a certain group of people on the planet are saddled with victim class status for a little longer.


Photo Credit: Henri de Toulouse Lautrec

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