OK, here's the deal: Each of us is likely going to have one or more people in our lives, before we leave the world of the living, who will tend to get on our last nerve or who will at least seriously challenge our ability to consistently take the high road in relationship matters. These are also likely going to be people we have unusually frequent exposure to--spouses, parents, siblings, bosses, co-workers, etc. I have found there are basically two spiritually sound and beneficial ways to deal with such situations: A) Get over ourselves and learn to surrender to the fact that this person drives us crazy and just deal with it. B) Engage in the spiritual practice of saying no and take steps to eliminate the person or people from our inner circle in some way or totally---yes, including spouses and parents--while always keeping open the possibility that at some point in the future there may be the spaciousness presented to make a different decision. We can also try talking to the person and discussing our concerns in calm uncharged ways. I however, only see this as a valid choice in the first year or so of a relationship. So if, for example, it's a parent who engages in behaviors that drive us batty, by the time we're 2 years old, its already too late for the talking option in most cases.
What are the other options? Shall we try to change the person? Ha, that's hilarious! That's the best one I've heard in a long time. In short--ain't gonna happen. How about living in constant frustration, angst and stress? OK, that's an option but not a spiritually sound nor beneficial one. How about constantly lashing out at the person with the subterranean belief this will ultimately reap some tangible rewards and the person will be beat into submission and/or somehow change? I'm so happy to be the one to inform you that another word for that tact is BULLYING. Yes, it happens on adult playgrounds as well, probably more frequently than on school playgrounds. Pouting all the time? Puh-leeze! How about drinking to excess and other potential addictive responses? Cha-ching, plus those eventually take their toll on the body, mind and spirit. Engaging in domestic violence and other forms of violent acting out? A therapist would be cheaper. Plus, the decor is better in such a person's office than that found in most jails...unless one has a fetish for orange or a fetish for...nevermind.
Nope, the only truly valid choices seem to be surrendering or the spiritual practice of saying no. Sorry but that's today's Sageananda Reality Check
©Raven/Sage Mahosadha
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