(NOTE: In the time since this piece was originally written (April 29, 2010) I have generally stopped referring to myself as a "spiritual teacher." I do however still view myself as an elder, wayshower and carrier of wisdom.)
Q). How does being black and gay influence your spiritual teaching work? Or does it?
(A) (Sage)
Both my ethnicity and my sexual orientation most definitely influence my teaching work and I imagine they also influence every other aspect of my life as well.
At the most fundamental level these "things about me" are things I understand to be rather unique, at least as far as the spiritual teaching community is concerned. What I mean by that is that I am not aware of a large number of either African American (outside of mainline Protestant church ministers, who are also often over-the -top homophobic and/or heterosexist) nor openly gay or same gender loving spiritual teachers out there presently. And so at the most fundamental level I am keenly aware of that. Perhaps more importantly, I am aware that the people who might be the audience for anything I produce or teach will also be aware of this, whether these awarenesses are on a conscious level or not. I am also aware that given the level of pretense that exists in most spiritual circles, these are things such people may want to pretend they don't notice. Then there is the whole issue of what such people may choose or not choose to do with that information if and when they do allow themselves to notice it. Race, ethnicity, gender identification and sexual orientation continue to all be strong and often contentious areas of social and other expressed energies in the world, perhaps more so in the USA than in comparable country's such as Canada (where gay marriage is legal) and Europe, that also boasts a number of country's that recognize gay marriage.
There is a saying in the black community particularly among blacks whom American society might consider successful or blacks who are in types of work or professions where there have not traditionally been high numbers of African Americans. That saying goes something like, "If you are black, you can never forget that fact."
I have heard many story's over the years that bear witness to the truth of that above saying. One that has always stuck in my mind for some reason is a story Whitney Houston spoke openly about once on a television talk show i just happened to catch. Houston recounted that at the absolute height of her popularity and fame, she attended a formal event of some kind. She was wearing a very expensive designer dress, was dripping with the jewels of her success and was embodying her "Diva-ness" to the fullest. Suddenly and without any warning an elderly white woman attending the function came right up to her and calmly and with complete seriousness said something to her to the tune of, "Excuse me darling, would you be a dear and get me a refill on my champagne?" For the uninitiated, the punch line is meant to indicate this elderly white woman's belief that Whitney Houston, pop diva extraordinaire, was in fact none other than one of the servers at the party and not one of the guests. Houston assumed this "mistake" was made only because she was black and that no matter how much fame and success any black person achieves, there will always be those for whom we will remain simply just another...well....you get the picture. Who knows where the truth lies there. My own life experiences however, informs me that Miss Houston was correct in her assumption.
I believe there is some fundamental truth expressed there, in that story. And I have heard numerous black superstars express essentially the same story, experienced by them in their own unique way--Oprah Winfrey and Bill Cosby, just to name a few. That fundamental truth is neither experienced as particularly burdensome nor negative for me however. At least not most of the time. Rather, it is one of the many things in the world that keeps me grounded in general and grounded in this human form I am in specifically; a form that includes the color of my skin and the fact that I make love to men.Some days are clearly better than others however. There is no doubt about that.
At another level these things about me bring an awareness that both my ethnicity and sexual orientation are things that have been marginalized by many cultures and many people and for a very long time. I am very aware there are people in the present day who also may attempt to marginalize me or view me as "lesser than" or even physically harm because of one or both of those "things about me." There are not many spiritual teachers out there, I believe, who have to include in their consciousness, when they give a public teaching, for example, the thought, "Oh yeah, there just might be someone in the audience who may throw a racist or gay slur at me during the talk." I don't believe Eckhart Tolle, Marianne Williamson or Wayne Dyer have ever had to go there. Nor have many, many others. I have experienced marginalization on numerous occasions during my time on the planet. I have been called a faggot to my face in public. I have been called a nigger to my face in public. And I am certain some of the people who engaged in those acts were spiritual or religious people. As I have said in another piece I wrote, I have been called a nigger to my face, in public exactly five times in my adult life. Four of those five acts were committed by openly gay white men, in public spaces and in one of the world's most recognized progressive and spiritually diverse city's---San Francisco, California. And in every single case (being called nigger and faggot) these incidents were, from my perspective, completely unprovoked, except by the anger and self loathing that was present and lurking in the consciousness of the person behind the words. So there's all that as well.
So there are many ways my own awareness of my ethnicity and sexual orientation could potentially influence my teaching work, both negatively as well as positively. The way I believe these awarenesses most impacts my work is that I believe there is a clear socio-political and sacred activism element to my teaching work and most likely always will be.
While I can be just as positive and "woo woo" as the next person, it is not long before some reference to political or social challenge and struggle in the world and the interest in the transformation of those challenges comes into my work. I make an absolutely clear association between such challenges, transmuting them and what I consider to be authentic spiritual practice. For me there is no such thing as an authentic spiritual practice in the 21st century that does not include sacred activism work on some level.
In a nutshell, my teaching work is heavily influenced by the consciousness and underlying philosophies and teachings of both Liberation Theology and Engaged Buddhism. My life and work are steeped in them to the core. My personal spiritual practice is also heavily influenced by them both as well. So my teaching work has a very clear Sacred Activism element to it that is both fundamental and fundamentally related to both my ethnicity and sexual orientation.
At another level still, these things about me influence my teaching work in ways that are a result of the fact that I, in no way, have consciously disowned anything about these two aspects of who I am. In other words, I accept them. I embrace them. And so I bring the history, cultural elements, personal life experience, dramas, personal and collective pain and everything else about being a black, same gender loving man into my teaching work. I however, do not believe I have created an "identity" out of either. It can be very difficult to explain in words the difference between fully accepting something about ourselves while not going so far as to then create an identity out of that same thing. For me my awareness that I am far more than the sum of any of my parts helps me to successfully navigate that sometimes slippery slope---most of the time.
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