When most of us say “I love you” what we are really saying is something along all or many of these lines—“I love you as long as you… act the way I want you to act, do the things I want you to do, say the things I want you to say, continue to make me feel good, take responsibility for my feelings, pretend to read my mind, put my desires before your own, don’t become more successful than me, continue to have a job, continue to have or make money, do what I tell you to do, don’t have sex with anyone else, don’t fall in love with anyone else, make me feel important, share my political views, have sex with me when I want you to, never say anything that challenges my reality, don’t become spiritually conscious, continue to look “good” to me, are an extension of my ego, don’t remind me of my flaws, are there for me emotionally, believe I am the most important person in the universe, inflate my ego, are not more awake than me, are not less awake than me, share my exact values, do what I want you to do, don’t become overweight, don’t commit a felony, don’t embarrass me, don’t develop a mental illness, have nice teeth, have nice hair, have a nice body, wear nice clothes, never change, continue to be heterosexual, continue to identify as gay, are clean and sober, never become clean and sober, are physically healthy, never become poor, never grow up, never stop abusing me, promise to love me forever.”
When a person who has learned to love unconditionally says, I love you, what we are really saying is; I love you.
© Raven/Sage Mahosadha
No comments:
Post a Comment