Disagreements and Arguments

I don't have arguments with people anymore. I do still have disagreements. I just don't have arguments. What is the difference? A disagreement is a natural occurrence that springs from the inevitable experience of two or more people seeing differently on some idea or construct and then expressing those differences in some way, shape or form. An argument is the experience of two or more egos creating strong mental positions on an idea or construct and then further, creating even stronger identities out of them.

In order for an argument to truly occur all parties must be coming from an emotional-psychological-mental place of taking a mental position and creating an identity out of that mental position. What exactly does this mean? It means the mental position is what is doing all the talking now, not any Human Beings.

Is it possible for there to be two people having a conversation and one person is having an argument and the other person is having a discussion/disagreement? Yes. This is the closest I get to being in an argument anymore. These type discourses can be very tricky. It is very easy to instantly go from discussion to disagreement to argument. Often, when I realize the other has gone into the energetic landmine space of argument, I bail from the conversation as quickly and gracefully as possible. This it because the only thing less beneficial than two mental positions pretending to have a conversation is one mental position and one Human Being pretending to have a conversation. In this instance the Human Being recognizes the human-ness of the other. Mental positions however, are only able to recognize other mental positions. So even though the Human in this equation is not arguing, if she/he is in a conversation with someone who is, the person who is arguing/defending his/her mental position will wholeheartedly believe the Human Being is arguing as well/with them. Essentially it is the same as talking to oneself at that point.

There are however, some instances where all this can be occurring and one or even all people are in argument mode and grace somehow intervenes and a new consciousness is instantly created. I would say if one witnesses this happen at anytime, pay very close attention. Try to bring your full awareness to what has just happened. Indeed, a miracle has just occurred and you directly participated in it. I have experienced this. There are few experiences I have had with other people that I can remember as being so powerful. When this happens, it is truly a beautiful, magical and amazing thing. Om Shanti Shalom.

© Raven/Sage Mahosadha

Peace and Freedom

If one is truly Free he/she is also completely at peace with the world they inhabit and everything and every relationship the world has brought to them.

This does not mean there will not be life challenges that will be recognized and experienced as life challenges. It does not necessarily mean all the insanity that occurs in life is not somehow recognized and hopefully mindfully addressed. It also does not mean we have to engage deeply and in real time with everyone life has brought to us. In some cases we simply may need to state either to ourselves when we are in a place of Presence or to the other person directly-- "I love you. I truly do, whether you accept that or not. Still, what you are showing me right now is not what I want to have in my life right now. It may not always be that way. It is however, that way right now."

So freedom and peace have nothing to do with engaging emotionally with people who clearly are not beneficial for us to be around or to engage with interpersonally. It does mean, not taking a stance of judgment about such people or mistaking their false self for their true self. If there are situations or relationships one is not completely at peace with, true freedom has not been achieved. If one has deep life regrets, longstanding grievances (including grievances toward parents, caretakers, and ex-romantic partners), has enemies, engages in the behavior of constantly replaying tapes in the head, experiences rage, feelings of superiority or inferiority, frequent complaining, a need to often blame others or situations for our circumstances or have a general lack of deep connectedness to all of life; neither true Freedom nor true Peace has been achieved and there is still important work that needs to be done in our lives.

© Raven/Sage Mahosadha

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Love and Tough Love

Real or true love has nothing to do with the ideas behind what is popularly called tough love. Ego (aka false love) has everything to do with the ideas behind so-called tough love.

There really is no such thing as or a need for an independent derivative form of love that we call "tough love." The already existing pure and complete concept of love when understood in its fullness is by itself spacious and large enough to encompass any needed "toughness" that may be appropriate in any given love-based situation, relationship or circumstance. And it is enough without the meanness, immaturity, judgment, self righteousness, drama or emotional, mental, psychological and sometimes even physical abuse that passes in conventional culture for "tough love."

Do yourself and the planet a favor and eradicate this concept of tough love from your consciousness. It does not serve you and it does not serve your relationships.

© Raven/Sage Mahosadha

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Surface Emotions and Deeper Emotional States

Surface Emotions: One or more of our basic senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell, or taste) is engaged in some way and we have some physical and/or mental, unconscious, subconscious, conscious, mild, moderate, strong or very strong response or reaction to that engagement. Or we think about or dwell on something from the past or our thoughts are the result of constant projecting into the future and then the resulting energy that is created from either or both of these exercises. Or we have a story or multiple stories (such as “I am not worthy of love” or “People cannot be trusted”) that forms the backbone of what we view as our identity and the energy that is created from that enterprise. These are the main experiences that account for the reality of surface emotions.

Deeper Emotional States: Deeper emotional states are also possible. In reality these are not emotional states at all but rather, states of being. It occurs to me that a lot of people probably only experience brief glimpses of these deeper states during their lifetime. My life’s work and the work of anyone who is truly dedicated to increasing the spiritual awareness and aptitude of people living today; is to invite the world into more frequent connection with these deeper emotional states of being.

Some of the deeper emotional states have linguistic identical twins in the world of surface emotions. Some examples are “love,” “happiness” and “contentment.” These words can be used to describe both certain surface emotions as well as certain deeper emotional states of being. The words ma be the same. The experience of them however, is vastly different depending on whether they are spoken from a place of Presence or not.

None of the surface emotions that we could call negative such as “pain” or “sadness” have a similar or correlate deeper state of being. That is because at this place and state of Being the duality we refer to and experience in the world of form as the positive/negative dyad, evaporates completely. And that is because deep states of being are essentially states of consciousness and ultimately they are a state of Presence. Presence is a divine like state. With Presence comes the experience of what we might call positive awareness kissing what we might call negative energy and saying “And with this kiss all your pain and sadness is released. Your truth has been unlocked. We are now one. Welcome Home!"

© Raven/Sage Mahosadha

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Conditional and Unconditional Love

When most of us say “I love you” what we are really saying is something along all or many of these lines—“I love you as long as you… act the way I want you to act, do the things I want you to do, say the things I want you to say, continue to make me feel good, take responsibility for my feelings, pretend to read my mind, put my desires before your own, don’t become more successful than me, continue to have a job, continue to have or make money, do what I tell you to do, don’t have sex with anyone else, don’t fall in love with anyone else, make me feel important, share my political views, have sex with me when I want you to, never say anything that challenges my reality, don’t become spiritually conscious, continue to look “good” to me, are an extension of my ego, don’t remind me of my flaws, are there for me emotionally, believe I am the most important person in the universe, inflate my ego, are not more awake than me, are not less awake than me, share my exact values, do what I want you to do, don’t become overweight, don’t commit a felony, don’t embarrass me, don’t develop a mental illness, have nice teeth, have nice hair, have a nice body, wear nice clothes, never change, continue to be heterosexual, continue to identify as gay, are clean and sober, never become clean and sober, are physically healthy, never become poor, never grow up, never stop abusing me, promise to love me forever.”

When a person who has learned to love unconditionally says, I love you, what we are really saying is; I love you.

© Raven/Sage Mahosadha

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