The principal reason I no longer use the word "queer" as a descriptor for my own or anyone else's gayness is because I no longer believe in using words that were originally designed as words of oppression as a self descriptor for myself nor others.
I no longer support the belief and/or theory embraced by some post modern "queer" theorists that the reclaiming of such a word as ones own symbolizes a powerful act of transformation. I no longer buy that doing such is ultimately an act of triumphant victory of liberation speech over oppression speech. I no longer accept that such an act also imparts with it all the empowerment we've been told automatically comes with it. There are some similar instances in life where I am able to perhaps imagine that all being the case. I don't see that however, in this case.
There is very well known saying in both The African American community and the larger civil rights community that is broader than the African American community given to us by Audre Lorde, one of my absolute biggest sheroes. That phrase is, "You can never use the masters tools to dismantle the masters house." I believe this saying is applicable to what I'm speaking of here in this post.
There is ostensibly however, something of even more fundamental import for me here. It is this: I have, after 30+ years of actively embracing my gayness, come to profoundly mistrust almost everything the mainstream, dominant, LGBT cultural vampires have told me I should embrace as part of my gay identity. I have come to view mainstream gay culture including mainstream gay activism as something I barely recognize as anything I would want to have any real part of. So if this same vacuous and fatuous cabal tells me I should happily refer to myself as "queer" I am now more likely to reject such advice out of hand simply because of the source.
Thankfully, I am also a member of the same gender loving community of African descent. And thankfully I trust much more deeply the advice and guidance that comes from that quarter of the larger LGBT communities. Ultimately however, I am self actualized and march to the beat of my own drum. And the rhythms coming from that drum of late have all been about connecting with inspired, creative and intelligent forms of expression that truly reflect my own light of day consciousness and not simply following the zombie horde into the night of the living dead consciousness.
2 comments:
Queer is a term definitely not liked in SGL Black TBLG circles as the 2000 Black Pride Survey compiled by the Task Force revealed.
Yes, I read that Monica. For me, as someone who has had to deal with the additional challenge of being called the "N-word" and all other kinds of race-based nonsense, I believe I'm just more sensitive to this stuff than alot of my white counterparts especially the ones that are a coupe of generations younger than me. I'm guessing some of these people simply have not experienced how intensely words can be used as weapons. Then again, I could be completely wrong about that and people just have a different way of viewing the issue.
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