Loving Kindness

Loving Kindness
Showing posts with label SGL (Same Gender Loving). Show all posts
Showing posts with label SGL (Same Gender Loving). Show all posts

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Making Love, Having Sex and F*king...


...are each Sacred when done in the right light
not uptight
nor guided by the religious right
touch
taste
smell
sight
shaft of light
rear ignite
sweetness and light
hard
soft
gentle
rough
bite
bite
bite
bite
all night
overnight
daylight
got it right
rewrite
start all over the next nite
s*ck
f*ck
good 
luck
awestruck
love struck
sex struck
black buck
getting stuck
f*ck
f*ck
f*ck
unstuck

hat tip to Thegayte-keeper for the photo

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Why I No Longer Use The Word Queer as a Descriptor for Gayness

The principal reason I no longer use the word "queer" as a descriptor for my own or anyone else's gayness is because I no longer believe in using words that were originally designed as words of oppression as a self descriptor for myself nor others.

I no longer support the belief and/or theory embraced by some post modern "queer" theorists that the reclaiming of such a word as ones own symbolizes a powerful act of transformation. I no longer buy that doing such is ultimately an act of triumphant victory of liberation speech over oppression speech. I no longer accept that such an act also imparts with it all the empowerment we've been told automatically comes with it. There are some similar instances in life where I am able to perhaps imagine that all being the case. I don't see that however, in this case.

There is very well known saying in both The African American community and the larger civil rights community that is broader than the African American community given to us by Audre Lorde, one of my absolute biggest sheroes. That phrase is, "You can never use the masters tools to dismantle the masters house." I believe this saying is applicable to what I'm speaking of here in this post.

There is ostensibly however, something of even more fundamental import for me here. It is this: I have, after 30+ years of actively embracing my gayness, come to profoundly mistrust almost everything the mainstream, dominant, LGBT cultural vampires have told me I should embrace as part of my gay identity. I have come to view mainstream gay culture including mainstream gay activism as something I barely recognize as anything I would want to have any real part of. So if this same vacuous and fatuous cabal tells me I should happily refer to myself as "queer" I am now more likely to reject such advice out of hand simply because of the source.

Thankfully, I am also a member of the same gender loving community of African descent. And thankfully I trust much more deeply the advice and guidance that comes from that quarter of the larger LGBT communities. Ultimately however, I am self actualized and march to the beat of my own drum. And the rhythms coming from that drum of late have all been about connecting with inspired, creative and intelligent forms of expression that truly reflect my own light of day consciousness and not simply following the zombie horde into the night of the living dead consciousness.

Friday, August 19, 2011

The History and Meaning Behind The Term Same Gender Loving

The term SGL (Same Gender Loving) emerged in the early ‘90s to offer Black women who love women and Black men who love men (and other people of color) a way of identifying that resonated with the uniqueness of Black life and culture. Before this, many African descended people, knowing little about their history regarding homosexuality and bi-sexuality had taken on European symbols and identifications as a means of embracing their sexuality(ies): Greek lambdas, German pink triangles, the White-gay-originated rainbow flag, in addition to the terms “gay’ and “lesbian.”

The term “gay,” coined as an identification by White male homosexuals beginning in the in the 50s, was cultivated in an exclusive White male environment. By the late 60s, the growing Gay Liberation movement developed in a climate excluding Blacks and women. In response to this discrimination, White women coined the identification “lesbian,” a word derived from the Greek island Lesbos. The lesbian movement, in turn, helped define a majority White movement called “feminism.” In response to the racism experienced by women of color from white feminists, celebrated author Alice Walker introduced the term “womanist.”

The term “womanist” identified woman of color concerned with the oppression of women and with addressing the problem of “racism.” In this spirit of self-naming and ethnic-sexual pride, the term “same gender loving” (SGL) was introduced to enhance the lives and illuminate the voices of homosexual and bi-sexual people of color; to provide a powerful identification not marginalized by racism in the gay community or “homophobic” attitudes in society at large.

As gay culture grew and established itself in San Francisco, Greenwich Village, West Hollywood and other enclaves, Blacks, especially, were carded and rejected from many establishments. Even today Blacks, Asians and Latinos often appear in the pages of gay publications solely as the potential sexual objects of white men. Ironically, gay rights activism was modeled on the Black Civil Rights and Black Power Movements of the ‘50s and ‘60s. Unfortunately, this replication of Black liberation provided little incentive for gays to acknowledge SGL Blacks, Latinos, Asians and Native Americans.

Since the advent of the gay rights movement many Black SGLs painfully discovered that this “movement” provided little space for the voices, experiences and empowerment of Black people. The rigid influence of the Black church and its traditionally anti-homosexual stance has contributed to attitudes that repress and marginalize Black SGLs. The lack of acknowledgement and support in the Black community has led multitudes of same gender loving African descended people to the White community to endure racism, isolation from their own communities, oppression and cultural insensitivity.

The high visibility of the white gay community contributes to the tendency in Black communities to overlook or ridicule Black SGL relationships as alien or aberrant. The Black SGL movement has inspired national dialogue on diverse ways of loving in the Black community. The term same gender loving explicitly acknowledges loving within same-sex relationships while encouraging self-love.

SGL has served as a wakeup call for Blacks to acknowledge diverse ways of loving and sexualities and has provided an opportunity for Blacks and other people of color to claim, nurture and honor their significance within their families and communities.

Seeking support and positive identification, people of color still endure ethnic invisibility in many gay settings and sexuality invisibility in their own communities. It is the intention of the SGL movement to break these cycles. The term “same gender loving” (SGL) has been adopted by women and men from all over the African Diaspora. To same gender loving sisters and brothers everywhere… Peace, self-love and respect to you, to your families, communities and allies.

I obtaind this information from Rod "Big Rod" Risbrook's wonderful Blog, Nubian Knights Network. I believe he likely got it from the website of Black Men's Exchange, where it is also located though I do not know that for certain. I am extremely grateful to Rod for including this information on his wonderful and inspiring blog. Ashé my Brutha Rod

Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Chicago "Be Great" Campaign


Two African American, male SGL (Same Gender Loving) bloggers I have much respect for (Rod McCullom of Rod 2.0 Beta + Black Tsunami over at Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters) have both posted about this program in the last 24 hours and I am now following suit and spreading the LOVE.

A Chicago organization that works with Black LGBT youth has launched a new social marketing campaign that encourages youth to "Be Great." The youth-led campaign is designed to end violence among Black LGBT youth, such as the vicious July stabbing captured on video.

The July 3 incident was the latest in a series of violent fights involving young Black LGBT in Boystown. The stabbings and the presence of Black/Latino street youth in the mostly white area has sparked aracially-fueled debateMore than 600 people attended a community policing meeting to discuss the problems.


Frank Walker, founder and executive director of Youth Pride Center, says "Be Great" was created as a response to community outrage over the attacks. "[The community meeting] was getting away from the actual topic, which was: How do you deal with violence?" Walker toldWindy City Times. "We believe every person should live in a safe neighborhood. We don't believe that it's racist to say that. ... Nobody wanted to hear what the youth had to say, and there's a big difference between what youth are saying and what adults are saying."


The campaign features youth-created posters and video submitted to itsFacebook page. Submissions will be judged. The winning print entry will run in the Windy City Times and be distributed among youth as a palm card.

Monday, June 6, 2011

When Love Takes Over: Introducing Darian Aaron's New Book on Same Gender Loving Couples of Color


In the words of Darian Aaron, the author of this new book...

"I am thrilled to announce that the book that caused my long hiatus from the blog last year is now available for purchase. When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color is based on the popular Coupled Up series from loldarian.com and exclusively profiles eighteen African-American gay couples who are in committed long-term relationships. The couples detail how they met, their journey towards self-acceptance, liberation and ultimately how they fell in love and maintain their relationships. All the while defying the myth that two black men are incapable of loving each other for a lifetime.

The arrival of this book is timely and necessary. The gay and mainstream media has largely ignored black same-gender loving men who have formed nurturing and long-term relationships, even worse; the love shared between these brave men have often been met with hostility from individuals within their own community. But finally, the diversity that exists within both the African-American and gay communities are laid out in the pages of “When Love Takes Over” for the entire world to see."

Run, not walk here to order your copy of Darian's book. Visit Darian's blog here. You can also order a copy of this book from Amazon.com right here on this blog with the Amazon tool on the right sidebar.